My Struggles and Future Endeavors

 

 Hello, my name is Serina and I have day to day struggles just like everyone else. I really just wanted to talk about how I have been feeling lately to let go of some things I've been holding on to. I do go to a councler to talk about these things, but it's not enough. Honestly, I feel very uncomfortable and out of place around people because I feel like i'm constantly being judged, which I probably am. I also feel this way because people make me nervous, meaning i'm constantly nervous 24/7. I'm always unsure of myself and am constantly stressed about whether or not i'm going to be able to do what I want to do because of my past grades...what really screws everything up are finals or tests. I've never done good on those things, even if I study hard, because I get so nervous and forget everything. I'm not as confident in myself and my body as I should be. If I exercised more and ate healthier, my confidence would boost so much. If I actually had the money to buy clothes that are ACTUALLY my style and had all the piercings I wanted and do my hair the way I want to, my confidence would be off the charts. Those are really small things, but they're so hard to achieve. Eating healthy is all mental. It takes a lot of mental strength to be able to kick your old eating habits, and it takes a lot of mental strength to give yourself motivation to exercise.

     

 Here are my new goals:

1. Eat better. (200 calorie meals 6 times a day)
2. Exercise more. (do at home workouts since I am unable to get a gym membership)
3. Believe in myself. Believe that I will get into the college I want to get into, despite my past grades.
4. Be more confident in my appearance.
5. Get the piercings and clothes I want in the near future.
6. Get a job to make money to get the things I want. (I've been looking for one for almost 2 months now.)
7. End semester with a 3.0 so I can finally start to work towards getting my license.
8. G R A D U A T E! With a 2.0 or higher so my mom will let me live with her in Santa Rosa.

I know I can do these things if I put the effort and time in. Life is such a glorious thing, and I don't intend on waisting it. When I graduate, i'm going to move to Santa Rosa and live with my mom and her boyfriend, look for a job, and go to Santa Rosa Junior College, then transfer to a 4 year to work towards becoming a vet tech. Once I graduate college, I plan on getting a job as a vet tech and staying in Santa Rosa for 1-2 years then move to Santa Cruz. Maybe when I get older i'll move to a different country. Oh! I almost forgot about traveling! Once I save up enough money, I plan on traveling around the world. I have a huge life ahead of me, and I want to be mentally prepared for what's to come. I don't want to sit around being afraid of life and everything in it. It's time to make a change for myself.